(?)Shop / Featured Product

Buy NY Paper Tee

$20 NY Paper Tee

Buy Brown Paper One

$5 Brown Paper One

Exhibition Open in new window

Sponsors

More Fiction

The Leonoids

10 The Leonoids

Broken Shoulders

2 Broken Shoulders

Print for later

Save this article

Increase text size

Decrease text size

Sharing is good for the soul

Enlighten your friends

Mr. Stud

Mr. Stud

952 Written by Unknown

The package comes on a Friday. There is a five-foot box leaning against my door when I arrive home. It is not addressed to me but my address is printed sideways on the label, so I bring it in anyway. I have to use a ballpoint to cut the tape. There are still unopened boxes lying in my apartment and scissors are the last thing on my mind to try and find. I run the pen along the sides of the box and then pull hard on the flaps.
The first thing I notice is the letter. “Dear Jack Ryan,” the letter starts. “Enclosed you will find Mr. Stud-O-Licious blow-up doll you purchased. We apologize for the delay but the product you purchased was on back-order. We hope you enjoy your Mr. Stud-O-Licious and we thank you for your business.” I look inside the box and I see the plastic, inflatable Mr. Stud-O-Licious. There is also a paper that explains how he is to be properly inflated, as well as an air pump and a pamphlet with his uses. I take all of the stuff out of the box and put it on the kitchen table. I pick up the letter again and look at the name. “Who the hell is Jack Ryan?” I say quietly to myself, while the wrinkled face of Mr. Stud-O-Licious stares back up at me.
“It is always someone named Lily,” Janice says to me over the phone. She is my only friend left after the split. “You never hear of a man leaving for someone named Marge or Doris.”
“Or Olga,” I tell her.
“That’s a good one,” she says. Truth is, deep down you always want it to be an Olga. As much as you hate the leggy blonde who smacks her lips while chewing bubble gum, the kind of woman who wears stilettos out in a blizzard, she is easier to admit defeat to. No one wants to be left for a name that could be a character from The Golden Girls.

1 2 3 4 5 6

Posted on February 9th, 2009 in Fiction

Comments by 952 People

Phentermine on Sat 27 Mar 2010 at 03:26 PM

RdWqtxCF Phentermine Cialis Ambien Cheap Valium Cheap Xanax Cheap Ativan

Buy Valium on Fri 26 Mar 2010 at 12:27 PM

VoDLEsyt Buy Valium Buy Viagra Buy Ambien Cialis Cheap Xanax Phentermine

Cheap Valium on Fri 26 Mar 2010 at 09:42 AM

bDfZEfS Cheap Valium

buy Pall Mall cigarettes on Thu 25 Mar 2010 at 11:09 AM

zqmnpC buy Pall Mall cigarettes

Phentermine on Sun 21 Mar 2010 at 05:27 AM

KuPQBj Phentermine Cheap Valium Cialis Cheap Ativan Ambien Xanax

Ambien on Sun 21 Mar 2010 at 03:28 AM

vTBAhypB Ambien

Buy Valium on Thu 18 Mar 2010 at 06:01 AM

DAVXLBj Buy Valium Xanax Cheap Ambien Buy Phentermine Buy Cialis Online Cheap Ativan

Cheap Valium on Fri 12 Mar 2010 at 10:22 AM

SCmAxkVt Cheap Valium Phentermine Buy Viagra online Buy Ambien Buy Ativan Cheap Xanax

Buy Viagra on Thu 11 Mar 2010 at 11:59 AM

zaRkxNo Buy Viagra

Buy Xanax on Wed 10 Mar 2010 at 11:15 AM

purkyoQJ Buy Xanax Ativan Cheap Phentermine Buy Cialis Online Cheap Ambien Valium

Xanax on Tue 09 Mar 2010 at 09:23 AM

aHuCjls Xanax

Xanax on Tue 09 Mar 2010 at 08:19 AM

zjBsgjO Xanax Tramadol Cialis Phentermine Valium Buy Ambien

Xanax on Mon 08 Mar 2010 at 07:36 AM

GpbRWtj Xanax

Cialis on Sat 06 Mar 2010 at 09:39 AM

iOSQLHXz Cialis Buy Valium Cheap Xanax Phentermine Tramadol Cheap Ambien

Buy Xanax on Fri 05 Mar 2010 at 09:56 AM

pJGighCM Buy Xanax

Buy Phentermine on Mon 01 Mar 2010 at 07:23 AM

MgWWogEg Buy Phentermine Rolex Watches Cheap Cigarettes Valium Xanax

Buy Cialis on Sun 28 Feb 2010 at 01:55 AM

SBQiZim Buy Cialis Valium Buy Phentermine Tag Heuer Watches Xanax

Cialis on Sat 27 Feb 2010 at 02:18 AM

JbwLby Cialis Buy Viagra Ativan Ambien Cheap Phentermine Cheap Xanax

Buy Tramadol on Thu 25 Feb 2010 at 03:12 AM

TxYOEW Buy Tramadol Cialis Cheap Phentermine Cheap Klonopin Viagra

Xanax on Wed 24 Feb 2010 at 12:25 AM

VaQgCIo Xanax Cheap viagra Tramadol Phentermine Ativan

Cheap Xanax on Sun 21 Feb 2010 at 04:20 AM

srputB Cheap Xanax Tramadol Cheap Phentermine Cialis Viagra

Cheapest Cialis on Sat 20 Feb 2010 at 04:32 AM

CfVGFK Cheapest Cialis Cheap viagra Buy Phentermine Viagra Viagra Cialis

Viagra on Fri 19 Feb 2010 at 08:42 AM

NnWVKxPY Viagra Cheap Phentermine Ambien Valium Cheap Ativan Xanax

Buy Cialis on Thu 18 Feb 2010 at 01:52 AM

rhgCiJvd Buy Cialis Valium Buy Xanax Cheap Phentermine Ativan Ambien

Buy Ambien on Thu 18 Feb 2010 at 01:05 AM

YxvwdIs Buy Ambien

Xanax on Tue 16 Feb 2010 at 02:23 AM

reydZVgX Xanax Cheap Valium Ativan Phentermine Viagra Ambien

Xanax on Tue 16 Feb 2010 at 01:39 AM

hADzCaNQ Xanax

test on Mon 15 Feb 2010 at 12:47 PM

9xtwEf2 test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com

test on Mon 15 Feb 2010 at 12:40 PM

buIGnf2 test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com

Cheap viagra on Mon 15 Feb 2010 at 05:42 AM

whWZTfQ Cheap viagra Buy Cialis Cialis Viagra Cialis

Buy Cialis Online on Mon 15 Feb 2010 at 04:57 AM

xMMZBdul Buy Cialis Online

Buy Pall Mall on Sat 13 Feb 2010 at 07:17 PM

INGdaCz Buy Pall Mall Lucky Strike cigarettes Cigarettes Marlboro Lights Buy Winston Camel cigarettes

Buy Phentermine on Sat 13 Feb 2010 at 02:08 AM

oyGFDKTk Buy Phentermine Cheap Xanax Ambien Buy Ativan Valium Tramadol

Cheap Xanax on Sat 13 Feb 2010 at 01:25 AM

EhNgMVhv Cheap Xanax

Cheap viagra on Fri 12 Feb 2010 at 09:06 AM

tKNGzG Cheap viagra

Phentermine on Fri 12 Feb 2010 at 05:56 AM

tFuHmSN Phentermine Ativan Buy Tramadol Cheap Valium Buy Valium

Cheap Xanax on Fri 12 Feb 2010 at 05:56 AM

PCyqbK Cheap Xanax

Valium on Wed 10 Feb 2010 at 05:35 PM

lllREX Valium Ambien Buy Cialis Online Adipex Xanax

Ativan on Wed 10 Feb 2010 at 03:49 AM

XTeSOwCQ Ativan Viagra Viagra Ambien Cheap watches

viagra on Mon 08 Feb 2010 at 05:22 PM

vhdIfE ewvrJZF

Xanax on Sat 06 Feb 2010 at 07:26 PM

HktWiE Xanax Lorazepam Valium Cheap Xanax Marlboro Cigarettes

viagra on Fri 05 Feb 2010 at 04:46 PM

GpZboUBm http://paxsuy.com/ QxUhpFm QxUhpFm

pVkvfWJE on Tue 02 Feb 2010 at 02:37 AM

ffUjAMAX

test on Sat 30 Jan 2010 at 07:46 AM

UUxeYf2 test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com test http://test.com

Ambien on Thu 28 Jan 2010 at 11:31 PM

YnPTztQo Ambien Buy Tramadol Buy Cialis Buy Cialis Online Buy Cigarettes

Buy Cialis Online on Thu 28 Jan 2010 at 09:47 PM

wpWEYakM Buy Cialis Online Tramadol Buy Cialis Online Buy Cialis Online Adipex

Buy Cigarettes on Thu 28 Jan 2010 at 04:26 PM

CbfBDeeg Buy Cigarettes Tramadol Xanax Cialis Cigarettes

Buy Ativan on Wed 27 Jan 2010 at 01:31 AM

qhtmuEr Buy Ativan Xanax Cialis Tramadol Tramadol

viagra on Tue 19 Jan 2010 at 05:30 AM

Hi! ljEecG http://gqrmcu.com/ oyEzZzme oyEzZzme

iAAQtTR on Thu 31 Dec 2009 at 11:16 PM

Hi! nsrLRfQ

BFRdae on Thu 31 Dec 2009 at 08:04 PM

Hi! oAhRlZ

Levitra on Tue 22 Dec 2009 at 12:09 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 7384, levitra online, )o(d, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, ngca.

Levitra on Tue 22 Dec 2009 at 07:04 AM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 4298, levitra online, ((:, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, qzsl.

Levitra on Tue 22 Dec 2009 at 06:51 AM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 4353, levitra online, o;(, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, vdtjqq.

Levitra on Tue 22 Dec 2009 at 06:02 AM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 7337, levitra online, ;o, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, jlou.

Levitra on Mon 21 Dec 2009 at 10:59 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 30403, levitra online, )o8o, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, reybj.

Levitra on Mon 21 Dec 2009 at 08:30 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 5657, levitra online, d;))8, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, zbgvv.

Levitra on Mon 21 Dec 2009 at 05:44 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 652711, levitra online, ((;;, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, szezeq.

Levitra on Mon 21 Dec 2009 at 04:19 AM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 55485, levitra online, :)(, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, klfbt.

Levitra on Mon 21 Dec 2009 at 01:57 AM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 95986, levitra online, (;8, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, ydkcg.

Levitra on Sun 20 Dec 2009 at 03:06 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 249658, levitra online, o8::, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, jajco.

Levitra on Sun 20 Dec 2009 at 09:47 AM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 5011, levitra online, (:, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, nphoz.

Levitra on Sun 20 Dec 2009 at 03:28 AM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 977059, levitra online, ;(, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, kiqwlb.

Levitra on Sat 19 Dec 2009 at 08:41 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 9252, levitra online, :(), http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, fwbqox.

Levitra on Sat 19 Dec 2009 at 06:48 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 6683, levitra online, )o:(, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, jwtpn.

Levitra on Sat 19 Dec 2009 at 12:22 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 045608, levitra online, d;(), http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, ejbmf.

Levitra on Fri 18 Dec 2009 at 08:20 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 477289, levitra online, )8(, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, zbgygr.

Levitra on Fri 18 Dec 2009 at 02:06 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 75183, levitra online, ()d:, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, aiglq.

Levitra on Fri 18 Dec 2009 at 03:40 AM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 5913, levitra online, b)o;(, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, chnfg.

Levitra on Fri 18 Dec 2009 at 01:36 AM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 80597, levitra online, )o:), http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, zmvo.

Levitra on Thu 17 Dec 2009 at 10:24 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 49853, levitra online, 8)(, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, rnmozy.

Levitra on Thu 17 Dec 2009 at 07:12 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 0759, levitra online, :db, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, ducmg.

Levitra on Thu 17 Dec 2009 at 04:15 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 720185, levitra online, :));, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, doaklb.

Levitra on Thu 17 Dec 2009 at 10:14 AM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 85423, levitra online, ))8;, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, cwvby.

Levitra on Thu 17 Dec 2009 at 09:02 AM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 43711, levitra online, bd(:, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, oedk.

Levitra on Thu 17 Dec 2009 at 02:44 AM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 257569, levitra online, ;)8, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, izzmu.

Levitra on Wed 16 Dec 2009 at 03:34 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 234731, levitra online, )d, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, frso.

Viagra on Wed 16 Dec 2009 at 10:04 AM

Sildenafil citrate, viagra, 884390, viagra, )o)8;(, http://www.viagrausadiscount.com/ Viagra, ubtf.

Viagra on Wed 16 Dec 2009 at 09:43 AM

Sildenafil citrate, generic viagra, 86947, generic viagra, )(od, http://www.usgenericviagra.com/ Viagra, jgfzo.

Viagra on Wed 16 Dec 2009 at 06:35 AM

Sildenafil citrate, cheap viagra, 091076, cheap viagra, ):)o, http://www.viagrauscheap.com/ Viagra, juya.

Viagra on Wed 16 Dec 2009 at 05:13 AM

Sildenafil citrate, viagra, 702309, viagra, )8d, http://www.viagrausadiscount.com/ Viagra, efjgje.

Viagra on Wed 16 Dec 2009 at 04:35 AM

Sildenafil citrate, viagra, 2304, viagra, ()d, http://www.viagrausadiscount.com/ Viagra, hxkqi.

Viagra on Wed 16 Dec 2009 at 04:35 AM

Sildenafil citrate, generic viagra, 8247, generic viagra, ()bb, http://www.usgenericviagra.com/ Viagra, jmqbl.

Viagra on Wed 16 Dec 2009 at 02:14 AM

Sildenafil citrate, cheap viagra, 39015, cheap viagra, ):o, http://www.viagrauscheap.com/ Viagra, khwgt.

Viagra on Wed 16 Dec 2009 at 01:33 AM

Sildenafil citrate, generic viagra, 25021, generic viagra, (d(, http://www.usgenericviagra.com/ Viagra, aisy.

Viagra on Wed 16 Dec 2009 at 12:00 AM

Erectile dysfunction, viagra online, 095957, viagra online, )(b, http://www.viagrausaonline.com/ Viagra, xwjkl.

Viagra on Tue 15 Dec 2009 at 11:07 PM

Erectile dysfunction, generic viagra, 081702, generic viagra, ))(), http://www.viagrausageneric.com/ Viagra, ulxb.

Viagra on Tue 15 Dec 2009 at 10:44 PM

Sildenafil citrate, cheap viagra, 65785, cheap viagra, b;, http://www.viagrauscheap.com/ Viagra, uhoq.

Viagra on Tue 15 Dec 2009 at 07:51 PM

Sildenafil citrate, generic viagra, 46105, generic viagra, :)o), http://www.usgenericviagra.com/ Viagra, vuyihj.

Viagra on Tue 15 Dec 2009 at 05:39 PM

Erectile dysfunction, generic viagra, 472096, generic viagra, (;, http://www.viagrausageneric.com/ Viagra, jfqtli.

Viagra on Tue 15 Dec 2009 at 05:20 PM

Erectile dysfunction, viagra online, 773564, viagra online, )d(, http://www.viagrausaonline.com/ Viagra, splw.

Levitra on Tue 15 Dec 2009 at 03:16 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 43596, levitra online, :(b, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, gtxash.

Levitra on Tue 15 Dec 2009 at 01:52 PM

Erectile dysfunction, levitra online, 04770, levitra online, )8)o;8, http://www.levitrausaonline.com/ Levitra, swbz.

Viagra on Tue 15 Dec 2009 at 01:11 PM

Sildenafil citrate, generic viagra, 36008, generic viagra, b))o, http://www.usgenericviagra.com/ Viagra, ncou.

Viagra on Tue 15 Dec 2009 at 12:34 PM

Sildenafil citrate, viagra, 42161, viagra, (()b, http://www.viagrausadiscount.com/ Viagra, fdvbv.

Viagra on Tue 15 Dec 2009 at 08:01 AM

Erectile dysfunction, generic viagra, 4787, generic viagra, b)8, http://www.viagrausageneric.com/ Viagra, pbazom.

Viagra on Tue 15 Dec 2009 at 07:52 AM

Sildenafil citrate, viagra, 93487, viagra, ):(o, http://www.viagrausadiscount.com/ Viagra, yhkb.

Viagra on Tue 15 Dec 2009 at 07:00 AM

Erectile dysfunction, viagra online, 677532, viagra online, )((, http://www.viagrausaonline.com/ Viagra, octtka.

Viagra on Tue 15 Dec 2009 at 06:47 AM

Erectile dysfunction, generic viagra, 5013, generic viagra, :;)8, http://www.viagrausageneric.com/ Viagra, mzlaa.

Viagra on Tue 15 Dec 2009 at 06:33 AM

Erectile dysfunction, generic viagra, 52329, generic viagra, )o(, http://www.viagrausageneric.com/ Viagra, scbtd.

Add Your Own Voice

Bookmark This Page